Shut up. Listen. Women's lives depend on it

Seriously, a woman is murdered by her male partner every 11 days in Australia, a decline since the early 2000s. But here's the kicker. In nearly all those cases (94 per cent), the killer used domestic violence abusive behaviours against the victim in the lead-up to her death. And we know that from 2022 reports from ANROWS and Australian Domestic and Family Violence Death Review Network.

Did the registrar who granted bail to Molly Ticehurst's alleged killer know that? Dear lawmakers and lawyers, did you know that? If you didn't, for God's sake meet up with the researchers who actually know why and how women in this country, in any country, get killed.

Do any of you know that there is a brilliant researcher in the United Kingdom, Jane Monckton-Smith, who can take you through the eight stages of homicide? Or do you know the work of Australian researcher Heather Douglas who can explain to you why non-fatal strangulation is a predictor of fatalities among women?

And if you don't know those things, just shut up and read. Stop talking. That includes you, Prime Minister Albanese. We don't need more talking. You said: "As a society, we need to talk about this. We need for men and boys to discuss these issues and give support to women who are in this situation, and we need laws to keep up as well."

The first part of your comment is absolutely irrelevant. As a society we talk about the problem non-stop and when I say society, I mean women. As for men and boys discussing these issues, no thanks. After all the pandering to White Ribbon, you think you'd get that this doesn't work. At this stage, I am less than interested in what men and boys have to say about violence against women because it will be some idiotic gaslighting.

Exactly four years ago, in the days after Hannah Clarke and her three children were murdered, I wrote a column in which a longtime researcher of family violence suggested men should be monitored after separation from their partners because that's a time of highest risk. I stupidly appeared on The Project to talk about some of the ways we might keep women safe. My God. Turns out civil liberties for men outweigh a safe life for women. But I reckon, put ankle bracelets on them all, every man who's ever had a partner and then separates from that partner. Sure, get all indignant about this - but have you got a better idea?

Before you all draw breath and say, oh, one woman dies every few days from partner violence, just maybe about 40 a year, let me draw your attention to the figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (and yes, the statisticians have taken me through this carefully so I don't bugger up the numbers).

Two sets of figures. Hold on to your hats and read slowly and carefully so you get the comprehensive picture.

First set, police-recorded crime data from 2013 to 2023 show a drop of 16 per cent in homicides by men. Great news. Then a 20 per cent increase in acts intended by men to cause injury, a 50 per cent increase in sexual assault and related offences by men, an 18 per cent increase in abduction and harassment by men. These figures are inevitably challenged by men, some men, who say women are homicidal too. Sure, at about one-fifth of the rate of men. Also entirely - entirely - unacceptable but rare in comparison.

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Now let's get to the second set of data, the domestic and family violence data from police, from 2019 to 2023. Again, the number of homicide offenders down. But let's move to the pertinent figures. More than 20,000 men breached violence and non-violence orders in 2023, a near 20 per cent increase over four years. That's four times the number of women who breached. More than 5000 men were stalkers; more than 40,000 men acted in a way which was intended to cause injury; nearly 5000 men damaged property (remember this is domestic violence cases, remember that in at least some of these cases, small children are watching). In every instance, in every category of offence, there are far fewer women perpetrators.

These figures make it clear to me that there is something wrong with men. Society won't fix this problem. Governments have to take charge. We need to preemptively teach men and boys how to deal with feelings. Spanish research tells us that compared to the rest of the population, male family violence offenders are more likely than the rest of the population to exhibit "hostility (i.e., aggression, anger, fury, irritability, rage, resentment), persecutory ideas (i.e., suspicious, fear of losing autonomy, need of control, difficulties in expressing their hostility), and depressive symptoms". The researchers ran an intervention program with significant rehabilitation effects. Maybe we need to modify that for all boys, right from preschool, to stop what's called "violent thinking".

In 2024, we are running at the violent death of a woman every 4.4 days. Too many commentators call it gendered violence or domestic violence. We can't know that until all the court cases are done and dusted what really drove these deaths. According to Counting Dead Women Australia (with which I am involved), 26 women have died violently this year already - and we know that five of those women were killed in the Bondi Junction murders. Was that gendered violence?

This is my 45th year writing stories about violence against women. The only thing changing is the increasing numbers and the increasing toll on women, all women, across our country.