Sleep deprivation, stress and grief were weighing Kerri Wagner down when she was asked the most important question of her life.
But when the nurses asked her if she would give permission for her 49 year old husband Bruce’s organs to be used for other people, she did not hesitate to say yes.
She had an answer ready because she and Bruce had discussed organ donation at length before his sudden death last March and she knew his wishes.
“Our daughter has a heart condition, so we had spoken about it,” she said.
“I said yes right away but other members of the family said no.”
Nearly a year on from Bruce’s tragic death, there are five people who are walking around because of organs he donated – his heart, two kidneys and two corneas.
But it could so easily have been the other way.
“If I wasn’t there, or if we had been in a car accident together, it may not have happened,” Mrs Wagner said.
“A staggering 43 per cent of Australians don’t know what their loved ones wishes are when it comes to organ donation.”
Donate Life week runs from February 19 to 26 and Mrs Wagner is using the opportunity to speak out about her experiences surrounding organ donation.
The theme this year is “ask and know your loved ones’ wishes” – something that made the terrible time around Mrs Wagner’s husband’s death a little bit easier.
“For me it’s been a great comfort,” she said.
“It means that the whole thing wasn’t a complete waste.”
“We’ve had some communication from two of the recipients and it’s really good to know how much they appreciate it.
“One of the corneas went to a 93 year old woman living at home, who would have had to go into a high care facility because she couldn’t see.
“Because of Bruce’s cornea, she’s still at home.”
Despite the fact that Bruce was a registered organ donor, current legislation still requires family consent for organ donation.
Less than 60 per cent of Australian families give that consent.
“Australia has the lowest organ donation rates in the world, but we have the highest success rate for transplants,” Mrs Wagner said.
“The big thing about organ donation is that it’s only a special type of person they can do with.
“They have to die in an intensive care unit and they have to be on a ventilator, so it’s a special set of circumstances.”
Deciding on whether to donate her husband’s organs came at the worst time in Mrs Wagner’s life.
“You really are put on the spot,” she said.
“If we hadn’t had that conversation, it would have been much more difficult.”
Bruce Wagner died last March from ethanol poisoning after drinking a glass of home brew spirits with a mate he had helped install a kitchen.
“He was away down south, so it was a small country town and they didn’t know what the problem was,” Mrs Wagner said.
“He was diabetic and they thought he might be having a diabetic coma.
“They air-lifted him to Nepean Hospital and that’s where they finally worked out that it was ethanol poisoning.
“He was on life support for four days before he was declared brain dead.”
When nursing staff asked Mrs Wagner if she would consent to the donation, she had not slept for five days and was under more pressure than she had ever been in her life and she is glad she made the decision she did.
“It gives me a lot of comfort, more so as time wears on,” she said.
“In some way he lives on in those five people and I am really proud that they could have their quality of life improved and their lives extended by that gift.”
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